Saturday, 22 January 2011

Another Aunt Beryl Episode

Dearest Mama,

 I was so upset to hear about Aunt Beryl. I suppose it goes without saying that the police are involved once again. I do hope that nobody was hurt and the tea rooms were not crowded with innocent bystanders - not like last time. It must have been so embarrassing for you especially when you had shown so much trust in her. Had she stopped taking the pills again? You really mustn't blame yourself this time,  you can't have eyes in the back of your head. I note wuth great sadness that a horse was involved. The poor thing must have suffered greatly, one can only hope that its demise was swift and it did not suffer too much. And she dressed it like she did the sheep you say? My God what must be going through the poor mad woman's brain. And how does she find the time to knit such elaborate costumes?Anyway as long as you are undamaged and firing on all cylinders.
I am very well thank you. My leg is healing and my hair is growing back albeit slowly. I'm sure it won't be long before I can dispense with the appalling wig and regrow my quiff.
Please keep me up to date with the Beryl episode as I fear that this time it might mean a custodial sentence, and not a short one. The Magistrates must be tiring of seeing Aunt Beryl in the dock. Ah well, look forward to your reply. Take care and remember me to Beryl.

A x

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